R.I.P. Vegas (1997-2012)

     Okay, this is my tribute post to the GREATEST dog ever and my therapy post.  We had to put him down on July 6 because he quit eating and could no longer get up by himself.  This was the hardest thing I have ever done.

November, 1997

to

July 6, 2012

     Although I jokingly bitch about him in my blog, I lost my best buddy in the whole world.  He was the one member of the family that I got to see the most of with me being on 2nd shift and I feel like part of my life is missing.  

     Please join me for a trip down memory lane (he would stop and pee every foot and a half on memory lane if he were still here).  Just to give an idea of how long we had Vegas, here is the last family picture we took with Vegas this Spring (I am not in it because I took the picture.  I am kicking myself for not getting the neighbor to take it so I would be in it because I really like it.)

     And here are some early ones with him at our house back on Michael Street that we haven't lived in for 10 years and at our house now with baby Callahan.

 Learning to shake with Lukah.

      A Christmas gift that we thought would take him 3 months to finish but actually took closer to 3 minutes.

 The 3 buddies playing in their fort.

 Vegas babysitting Mikah and Lukah.

 Vegas wiped out from a long day of Christmas present snooping.

     Looking to see if he's going to get yelled at for laying on the pillow while Mr. Potato Head looks on (well he would look on if he had his eyeballs).

"I'll give you all day to stop that," says Vegas.

     Now I am not sure if we are an extremely lazy family or if they just make good photo ops, but while looking for pictures for this blog, there seemed to be an inordinate amount of photos of we all napping with the dog.  See what I mean.

Vegas patting Mikah on the back for a job well done.

Vegas patting me on the head for a job well done?

Or us bugging the shit out of him while he tries to nap.

     And this amused me one day a few months ago.  He was napping with his tongue out so I snapped a picture of it.

     No tribute would be complete without some just random cute pictures of him over the years just being crazy.

 Going completely bonkers after a bath.  You can see the craziness on his face.

 Resting after a hard day of resting.

 Vegas with his girlfriend "Fanny."

Early picture of Vegas and his schnoz.

Seriously, could he be any cuter?

My 3 legged dog?

I walked out one day and this is what I saw.  It totally looked like he was reading something.

     Vegas loved Christmas.  Perhaps a little too much as it usually lead to him getting kicked out of the room.  He would actually open his own presents and unfortunately once or twice, a few that weren't his a few weeks before Christmas.

 Gotta' see!  Gotta' see!

     This was hilarious.  We decided to try to get him in the Christmas picture with the kids in 2010 because he was getting really old and we thought that might be one of our last chances.  He WOULD NOT move any closer to them to get in the shot even after an hour or so of coaxing.  He had the skids on and that is where he was lying for the shot whether we liked it or not.  That is why he is 3 feet in front of them.  We knew that picture would make us laugh someday.  

     Lastly, I'm not sure why but we liked to dress up the poor guy.  I can honestly say that I never "cross-dressed" the poor guy like other factions in the house but he never really seemed to mind.

Get back kids, looks like Prancer's gonna bite.

Is being able to lick your own nads a super power?

Oh, he looks so humiliated.

Cutest Easter Bunny EVER!  He actually killed a baby bunny one year the DAY BEFORE Easter and I had to assure the kids that it wasn't the Easter Bunny.

Shh.  Be vewy vewy kwiet.  I'm hunting wabbits.

Teen pop star by day, family pet by night.

Professor Vegas-You see kids, Pythagoras proved that the sum of the 2 sides that make the right angle of a right triangle equal the hypotenuse.  Any questions?

The hat's got it right!

I foresee many, many treats in my future?

Joe Cool.

     And the following are the last family portraits that we had our neighbor take for us in October 2011.  We knew that this might be our last chance.  I am glad we did.  The first two shots are good ones but it took about 100 pictures of him looking at every moving leaf or bug to get 1 where he was actually looking in the right direction.

He loved to smile.

That's a good boy.

Squirrel!  Squirrel!  Squirrel!  Look familiar?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrAIGLkSMls

Yoo hoo!  Vegas, over here.

     This is the sympathy card that we got from the vet's office.  It is a picture that they took of him at some point.  By the crazed look in his eye, I am guessing it was after a nail trimming.  

     When he was younger, he just let you do it.  In the latter half of his life and even up to a few months before he died, it was a process that involved me holding him in a head lock, a nurse wrestling his leg and Dr. Sterr trying to follow his waving paw with trimmers.  It was a 15 minute ordeal with 3 grown adults emerging all sweaty with disheveled hair and clumps of dog hair stuck all over us.

This beautiful poem was inside.

     I made a short montage video of Vegas's life in order as he lived it.  It's only 3 minutes or so and set to music so watch if you want to see a cute puppy.  The full version with subtitles follows.  Some of it may make you smile, some of it may make you laugh, and some of it may make you cry.

     This video is much longer with some actual audio of us and some songs mixed with a few subtitles explaining the actions.  It is a much more detailed account of his life.  I did it more for myself but I hope at least some of you will enjoy the many laughs Vegas gave us over the years.

Thank you Vegas for 14 1/2 wonderful years.  We could not have asked for a better pet. WE REALLY DO MISS YOU EVERY DAY!  Peace.

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So Long 'Ol Buddy

Well, I know I joke about him a lot in my blog but I lost my best friend in the whole world recently.  We had to put Vegas down after 14 and a half hilarious, love-filled years.  Our hearts are broken.  I am working on a tribute blog more as therapy for myself than anything else so expect that in the near future.  For now, I just have a poem.  Peace.

10 More Observations From My 43 Years Of Life

1.  Why does drinking bathroom water just seem so gross?  If my nightstand water runs out in the middle of the night and I fill it in the master bath, I am almost too disgusted to even drink it.  It's like my brain is trying to convince my mouth that somehow the sink plumbing is set to filter through the toilet bowl.

2.  How come we can go on vacation for a week and come home to 1 message on the answering machine?  But then if I try to lie down for an hour nap, I get a phone call every 7 minutes from everyone from my mom to the guy possibly running for hover car commissioner in 2037.

3.  You ever meet anyone whose voice just always sounds like they need to clear their throat?  I just want to cut them off and say, "Sorry, we can't be friends.  Ever thought of being a mime?".

4.  Maybe I'm just a slob, but it annoys me on t.v. when people sit in their own house eating potato chips out of a bowl while they are watching television.  I mean really, who the f**k does this?  So then what you don't finish, you have to try to pour back into the bag?  If we're having a party or the queen's coming over, then yeah.  But, if it's just us, dig those dirty, slobbery hands right down into that bag like God intended.

5.  I get so sick of calling help lines for supposedly American companies and being patched through to obviously not America to a person that I can not even begin to understand.  HOW IS THAT "HELPING" ME?  I so just want to immediately start speaking gibberish.  Every question they ask me, I just want to answer "Bintoggle shnozy digfobber gizooley".  Then just keep it up "poozale tinthurton gingalala poontoplibnoggy".  Until finally, they have to say, "sir, I can't understand you".  Then, I will calmly say in perfect English "Now you know what I am dealing with."

6.  Why do offices have casual Friday where you get to wear jeans to work?  Who decided that jeans are "casual".  If it were truly "casual", I would be allowed to kick back in my cube in my underwear with a beer resting on my belly.  And who picked dress pants as being the bad part about dressing up to where it's a reward to not have to wear them?  Personally, I think the shoes are worse.  If I ran the office it would be "Swim Fin Fridays" just to make it fun.  Wouldn't you love to see Farnsworth from accounting stumbling around the office in swim fins?

7.  Why is it that I can brush my teeth and when I am done, you can look at my sink and not be able to tell that I brushed my teeth?  However, if you go into my kids' bathrooms at any given time, there will be half the tube squirted out by the faucet handles and visible toothpaste in various spots from up by the ceiling to on the baseboard.  Really, how is this even possible?  Does one of them hold up a toothbrush over by the wall and the other one set the tube on the vanity and pound their fist on it to see if they can make the toothpaste on to the brush?   I guess I should just be happy that they are at the very least giving the illusion of brushing their teeth.

8. Noah must have brought 2 termites on the ark.  Was that really the best idea?

9.  How come when I am mowing and all of the sudden I can't tell where I've already been, I panic?  Does it really matter?  It must not have needed mowed to begin with.  Also, if I get done and see that I've missed a spot, it drives me just a little bit insane to look at it every day but not quite so insane enough to get the mower back out.  And something I really don't understand is why the Hell is it easier for me to weed eat walking backwards?  Is it meant to be done that way or is it just something that I unintentionally do?

10.  To me, the smell of burps is way more gross than than the smell of farts.  Fart odors in overall stenchability can be much more powerful but are so far removed from the actual smell of what it used to be that my mind can separate that.  However, burps still kind of smell like the food it once was attached to but with a putrid twist, so that to me is much worse.

Perry's 4th of July Lesson

Here is the next installment of the Perry Rabbit children's book series that I wrote but haven't been able to get published yet.  Again, I would appreciate any feedback but please don't be mean and make me cry.

KEYBOARD TIP! - Hold the control key down and hit the + (plus) sign to zoom in or control key and - (minus) sign to zoom out. Finally, hold the control key down and hit 0 (zero) to go back to the original page size. If you have a MAC, just get your butler to read the damn thing to you.

THANK YOU VETERANS!!!!