Well, I'm back. Doesn't everyone take 6 years between creative endeavors? We'll just blame Covid because why not? This has been quite the year. I have had rotator cuff/bicep surgery on both shoulders. Needless to say, if you are on this . . .
don't dive out of it head first (left shoulder). Yes, there was alcohol involved. Or, if you fall down the stairs, don't catch your full body weight with one arm (right shoulder, no alcohol).
Due to these injuries, I have been sleeping on the couch in our sunroom and eating a steady diet of Percocet for the better part of the year. This has lead to a few hallucinations even though I was sometimes slow to admit that they were such.
After my 2nd surgery, we went on a little getaway to St. Louis to see the Goo Goo Dolls and stay in a hotel. I was impressed because unlike me, Johnny could play more than 10 seconds of a song.
I woke up in the night, couldn't get comfortable and moved to a chair. I surfed on the iPad for a bit before nodding off. When I woke up, I lit up the screen and there was a pink dragonfly on the screen.
Then like in Fat Albert when they came to life, it flew out of the screen, hovered in front of my face for a few seconds and then fluttered up around the top of the curtains.
Since a dragonfly had landed on their microphone at the concert the night before, I reasoned that maybe there was an epidemic. It took me 5 days to finally admit to Andi that this might not have really happened. The next hallucination occurred when I was trying to sleep in the sunroom. I was lying on the couch staring at the stained knotty pine ceiling.
All of the sudden, a tiny black army dropped down from the 1st V-shaped knot, made a high-pitched chatter sound and scurried to the 2nd V-shaped knot before sucking back up into the ceiling while never losing the V shape. So kids, that's what knots are made of because ya' know . . . science. Okay, I was a little quicker to admit that that one might have been a hallucination. They looked like this.
However, the most amazing one happened a couple weeks ago. As I said, I'm sleeping in the sunroom. So every time I have to pee, I have to walk through the living room. Once everyone went to bed, the lights were all off except for the TV playing music for the puppy.
The first time I went, I was taken aback by a marble bust of an old, bald, bearded Greek man gawking at me. After 4 more potty breaks (I may have a problem) and 4 more icy stares, I decided to snap a picture to check the next day to see if it was a hallucination or not. I was ready to admit it now at this point.
The next day rolled around and I had completely forgotten that happened. That evening, we were sitting by the fire bowl and Andi thought her condensation ring from her High Noon looked like a smiley face.
AHA! That sparked my memory. Checked my phone and well . . .
Now if it had started singing like on the Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland, that would have been a little harder to explain away.
Okay, post over. See you in 2031!
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