Are you about to start a lengthy prison sentence? Are you tired of all your contraband being covered in urine droplets and smegma? If you have a vagina (google it if you're not sure), then you will absolutely love MyPursy®, available at upscale Dollar Trees near you. We spent YEARS in the laboratory trying to get our product just right. And just as we were about to give up on it, we finally got MyPursy® licked.
That's right, our product holds all of your valuables clean as a whistle. Not a whistle you would want to put in your mouth necessarily. It even has extra long, barely noticeable straps for easy retrieval.
There are many styles of straps that you can collect. Here's a few.
We even have a glow-in-the-dark strap for nighttime removal.
Hear what our customers are saying.
MyPursy® has a secret shiv pouch that never allows it to get dull. You'll be able to carve up your cellmate and then the Thanksgiving turkey with ease.
Our purses even come in a larger size for you hookers out there.
Not only that, but they are even customizable with your own personal photos.
Since our hoo-ha holders are made with the finest grade possum leather, they need treated occasionally with Summer's Eve MyPursy® Cleaner. Just squirt some on your finger and rub MyPursy®. Make sure to rub it good and long. After awhile, you will have it back to that original leather scent. You'll just love the smell of MyPursy®.
And don't forget the accessory you'll wonder how you ever lived without, the MyPursy® cooking bag inserts. Just insert food into the foil bag, insert the foil bag into MyPursy® and then insert it into yourself. In just a matter of minutes, your body heat will cook up the tastiest batch of russet potatoes this side of Cell Block D (reduce cooking time on heavy queef days). Don't forget to share!
COMING SOON! Why should women be the only ones smuggling in contraband effortlessly? For you men out there, we are about to release the Buttholster®. It can hold everything from your toothbrush to $6.75 in quarters in a somewhat airtight container.
That's right, our product holds all of your valuables clean as a whistle. Not a whistle you would want to put in your mouth necessarily. It even has extra long, barely noticeable straps for easy retrieval.
There are many styles of straps that you can collect. Here's a few.
We even have a glow-in-the-dark strap for nighttime removal.
Have fun trading them with your friends.
MyPursy® has a secret shiv pouch that never allows it to get dull. You'll be able to carve up your cellmate and then the Thanksgiving turkey with ease. Our purses even come in a larger size for you hookers out there.
Not only that, but they are even customizable with your own personal photos.
Since our hoo-ha holders are made with the finest grade possum leather, they need treated occasionally with Summer's Eve MyPursy® Cleaner. Just squirt some on your finger and rub MyPursy®. Make sure to rub it good and long. After awhile, you will have it back to that original leather scent. You'll just love the smell of MyPursy®.
And don't forget the accessory you'll wonder how you ever lived without, the MyPursy® cooking bag inserts. Just insert food into the foil bag, insert the foil bag into MyPursy® and then insert it into yourself. In just a matter of minutes, your body heat will cook up the tastiest batch of russet potatoes this side of Cell Block D (reduce cooking time on heavy queef days). Don't forget to share!
ORDER YOURS TODAY!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment