Feel the Love (Insult Letters #1)

     My sister and I work in the same office.  For years now, I have walked by my mailbox every day and there is NEVER anything in there.  In fact, I truly think that the only things I have ever had in there were the updated inter-office phone lists.  That is except for what I am about to tell you about.  

     One day a few years ago, the secretary told my sister that she always felt sorry for me because she thought I looked so disappointed every day when there was nothing in there.  My sister took this as an opportunity to kick a guy when he's down, then spit in his eye, and rub salt in his wound.  Let's see, did I forget any cliches.  Nope, got 'em all. I came in after my sister/secretary exchange to a note in my mailbox.  I was walking on sunshine (damn, more cliches).  I don't think my feet touched the floor all the way to my desk.  I opened my note only to find a flurry of insults.  

     This led to years of back and forth insults that still go on to this day (even though she takes 6 months to come up with one now. I blame intelligence problems).  Here are an actual exchange of insults between us.  I will periodically show you some of our insult letters.

KEYBOARD TIP! - Hold the control key down and hit the + (plus) sign to zoom in or control key and - (minus) sign to zoom out. Finally, hold the control key down and hit 0 (zero) to go back to the original page size. If you have a MAC, just get your butler to read the damn thing to you.

And my response, see below.