And new from Stompeez®. . .

Do you hate when your parents tell YOU when it's YOUR bedtime?  Sure they can stay up drinking Margaritas and beer bongs to unwind from their day but YOU have to lie down without so much as a tequila shot.  Break your piggy bank for our new Birdeez® and let the slippers show them your dissatisfaction.

How do they work, you ask?  Just slip your feet in, get pissed at friends and family, stomp off in a huff and let our slippers do the rest.  When you step down, little cartoon talking mice crank a big wheel to make the finger go up.  Oh clam up, you're just a kid, like you would really understand the hinges and compressed air explanation.

If you are wondering where the idea for these came from, it was actually the original prototype for the modern day Stompeez®.  

In 1846, our founder Gus R. Stompee fashioned a pair of slippers out of the remains of a down and out transient for his daughter to wear in her drafty bedroom.  Just from pure coincidence, the slippers reflect the transient's last gesture to Gus for not giving him a penny for some rat jerky.

Little Adelaide Stompee, 1846.

After the Switchblade Stompeez® debacle that occurred in the Dover Juvenile Hall courtyard, we decided to go back to our roots.  

Okay, actually all of the lawsuits forced us to lay off our creative team (who let's face it, kinda dropped the ball on that promotion anyways).  Nevertheless, what kid hasn't wanted to tell their parents to cram it at some point or another?  What better way to show your dissatisfaction with a Christmas gift  (without using the word doodyhead and getting slapped around on Christmas Day that is)?  Don't flip them the double bird, let our slippers do it for you.

Yeah, gee.  These new slippers are much better than an XBox.

Don't worry.  If you leave your slippers at home, there is still just the old fashioned way. Just be prepared to go into the fake nose scratch if you get caught.  Birdeez® is not responsible for groundings, dessert missings, or premature bedtimes.

And coming soon from our print division. . .

Have you ever seen the arrogance of those drivers with the "Honor Student" bumper stickers?  I mean pretty much these days, if you don't stab someone that quarter, they put you on the honor roll, right?  So, who's really impressed?

Then there was the humorous rebuttal bumper stickers that soon followed.

Well, we have done them one better (or actually 3 better).  Why does schooling have to be the only benchmark for pride?  Can't I be just as proud of my kid for finding a stack of 1980's Playboys in the neighbor's garbage or rolling the best "J"?  That's why we proudly offer these alternatives for jr.'s disfunctional lifestyle.

Pre-order TODAY!

Insult Letter #14

     Okay, it is technically my sister's turn on the insult slinging and has been for close to 2 YEARS but I have had one waiting in the wings so long, I decided to go ahead and use it!  I wrote this one so long ago that I actually had to retrieve it from my disc archives to even bring it back to life.  Good thing it was about Nike products and not Twinkies or it would have been obsolete by now.  

     Anyway, let's see if she can take her broken wing (she just had rotator cuff surgery) and one finger peck out a rebuttal on the keyboard.  Nah, I'm sure this will just be her excuse to take another 2 years.  Scroll way down to see the letter.

We Wish You A . . . . .

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!. . . . And a few on the side. . . . And maybe a couple in the back."

"Oh yeah, and some more meth!"

Heeerrreee's Cooorrreeeey!

     For the last few years, we have gone to a costume party the weekend before Halloween and this year I was having a hard time coming up with a costume.  It was either go as a giant hot dog from the costume rack at Wal-Mart or use the magical world of the internet for something other than hairy, German grandmother porn. 

     I chose the latter and by googling "funny Halloween costumes" came across what I think is the most brilliant costume ever.  So, I borrowed (in the same way that Jesse James "borrowed" all of that money from those banks 140 years ago) the idea.  I grabbed some old wood and trim from the garage and this is the result.

     I used a little make-up to give myself pointier eyebrows and the crazy hair sticking down.  Here is a closer view.

     And the full body shot.  I had to get a shirt from the Lighthouse thrift store to complete the ensemble.

     I hung the picture below it to wear on Halloween itself to show kids what I was supposed to be.  I didn't have it on there for the party because I figured most adults would know.  I mean who hasn't seen. . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7JB68sLGY8

     I wish I could say that the costume was my idea but it wasn't.  It also wasn't my idea to dress the newest Case "Sadie" up as a witch either.  She looks less than thrilled about the idea.  In fact, she looks like she's switching into kill mode.

     And Kersten (daughter's bff) wanted to put on my "head on a tray" costume from last year to scare kids with (see last year's blog post http://coreycase.blogspot.com/2011/11/halloween.html ) but just ended up looking like the happiest corpse on the planet or beyond.

     Lastly, I will show you the children's pumpkin carving efforts.  Actually "designing" efforts on Lukah and Cal's as I had to do the actual carving from their drawings.  Now if we had only remembered to actually light them before trick or treating was over. Oooops.  Well, here's Mikah's.

Lukah's creation.

And lastly, Cal's.

     We actually handed out candy this year because for the first time, the kids were all too old to go trick or treating.  However, if I went by some of the trick or treaters that I had, I'm not too sure that I'm too old.  One of the last ones we had actually sported a full beard.  It was real, too, and I think his wife was trick or treating with him.  

     Oh well, we actually had a half of a bowl left over so we get some treats now that there is none to steal, uh I mean "borrow" from the kids.  Hope you all had a HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Too Scary For Perry (last book in the series)

     Sorry I haven't posted much in so long but I am kind of taking a break.  I am running out of ideas and am getting kind of burned out.  Therefore, I have just decided to live life for awhile.  I may still put a sporadic post every now and again so please bear with me.  

     Anyway, here is the last of the children's book series that I wrote and illustrated. Perry Rabbit felt bad about almost killing a turkey at Thanksgiving, helped a homeless family at Christmas, kidnapped the Easter Bunny, and redeemed himself to a veteran on the 4th of July.  So please check out what kind of trouble he can find at Halloween.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!

Corey's Thought Of The Day

I think that potential grocery store bagger's should not have to submit an application or have an interview.  They should be lead into a dark room, set in front of a Tetris game and if they can get past level 5, they are hired.

10 More Observations (Part 3)

1.  How come on t.v. when they say "everyone is talking about it," I've never heard anyone mention whatever it was they were talking about EVER!

2.  Ever notice how "tourist" and "terrorist" sound so much alike?  Do you think there has ever been a foreigner detained at the airport for calling themselves a "tourist?"

3.  Why do the Kardashian girls over-emphasize and drawl every third or fourth word? "The way they TAAALK drives me CRAZYYYY.  I want to GOOUUGE out my EEAARRDDRRUUMMSS with a number 2 PENNCILL!"  Seriously listen to Kourtney talk starting at the 20 second mark.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVmCRw7MHVU

4.  Why do people think that just because they preface it with "No offense but. . . " that they are then free to insult you with no hard feelings?  "No offense, but it seems since graduation that you have added a small cow to your body weight."

5.  I love those male enhancement pill commercials where they say to call a doctor if you have an erection lasting 4 hours or longer.  4 HOURS OR LONGER, F**K CALLING A DOCTOR.  THAT'S AMAZING, I'M CALLING MY F**KIN' FRIENDS!

6.  Why do hotels and casinos (and hotel casinos for the double whammy) always have the ugliest, gaudiest carpet that you would NEVER put in your house.  This is the actual carpet from our Doubletree Hotel on our trip to Chicago last week.  I swear I just expect to stare at it like one of those Magic Eye posters and all of the sudden I'll see a whale or something.

7.  How many more trees would there be in the world if it wasn't for Publisher's Clearing House?  I got 2 different ones in the mail on the same day.  This is the pile from all of the inserts.  It makes me weep for poor Akwa (click, whistle, click) Bugwola in the rain forest.

8.  It annoys me the way they wrap presents on t.v. and movies.  They always wrap the box and the lid separately so the recipient just has to take the wrapped lid off of the wrapped box to get to the present.  I mean really, who the f**k wraps this way?  I am excusing it on this clip because it is from the greatest show ever made "Saved By The Bell" but watch starting at minute 17:50 to see what I mean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMLPGuaG2GI

9.  Okay, it's official.  I have the coolest mom ever.  This was her Easter bonnet this year and I'm not even joking.  Sort of canceled out the Easter prayer, though.

10.  Who needs acid or heroin when you can look at this stuff?  Seriously, that is freaking amazing.  These really aren't moving.  It's an eye trick.  I've never been so dumbfounded and want to throw up so badly at the same time in my life.